Emotional woman made dangerous by shopping trip...

Alright, retailers.  I'm on to you.  I don't know if you have heard, but monopolies are ILLEGAL. 

You see, dear friends, I went shopping today.  4 months ago, I couldn't go to my favorite shopping center without spending lots of money at lots of different stores!  Now, as a preggo, I have but one option.  Seemingly, there are maternity stores and departments all over the place.  LIES!  Yes, as everyone does, I stopped into Motherhood Maternity last week and bought a dress and skirt.  I secretly resent the dress because it's unflattering.  The skirt's okay.  Anyway, it was obvious to me that the next Motherhood store down the road would probably have the same items as the first.  So, as to not waste time, I headed for the next city over.  Well, I googled the next city over.  Found a place called Mi Mi Maternity.  I've never heard of it, but this shopping center is known for its awesome selection of boutiques, so I got in the car.  GPS knew where it was.  I figured I had a decent clue.  But lo and behold, when I parked in front of the address, there was no Mi Mi Maternity.  It was another Motherhood store.  So, I grumbled my way around the store.  I did ask the clerk twice if there were any other maternity stores around, and I'm not sure if she was ignoring me, or if she didn't have an answer.  Anyway, I called the husband who suggested that good ole Macy's would never let me down.  At least, their shoe department never has.  :)  Now, I'm not sure who designs these department stores, but if it's a she, she's a bitch.  A skinny, rich bitch.  I walk into the store and BAM, I'm in the "adorable but too small and too expensive" section.  So, I search (and I mean that literally) for a clerk and ask where the maternity department is.  "Go up the escalator and just turn around."  I went up the escalator.  I turned around.  And I mentally went back down the escalator and bitch-slapped that clerk.  You know what the sign says when you turn around?  DO YOU KNOW?  It says "Women's Plus."  I said "Maternity!"  I said, "there's a person in my belly," NOT "I'm fat and need someone to hide my gigantic belly."  But, oh, she wasn't just being completely insensitive.  But Macy's was.  Do you realize to get to the maternity department you actually have to walk through ALL other departments, then through the plus department, and then you find the tiny, tiny section for the preggos.  Of course, it's brought to you by...  you guessed it...  MOTHERHOOD!  But, fear not, OLD NAVY has a maternity department!  Wait.  Not really a department.  More like a shoebox with maternity pants and fat sweaters.  That don't fit.  Moving on, I heard from a reliable source that Kohl's could help me.  In an effort to stop being long-winded, I'll just let you know that Kohl's maternity department is brought to you by ...  Motherhood.  So, in a span of two weeks and five stores, I've visited ONE maternity store. 

Now, I'm not sure exactly what's going on here.  At any given point, 3% of the population is pregnant.  Are you telling me that there are more people buying Birkenstocks and those cardboard energy bars than maternity clothes?  I. Think. Not.  Well, maybe, but I don't think those people are to be trusted.

My tirade has been interrupted by hunger.  Enjoy!

Woohoo!

The countdown begins...one month until we find out if this little one is a boy or girl!  So, to kick off this month, let's check out a pregnancy cartoon...

Enjoy that?  Well, it reminded me of something all my friends have been saying to me for weeks now.  I have the best husband in the world.  Ladies, do you take the time to notice what that handsome man beside you is doing for you these nine months?  The tall guy next to me--he's been really pulling his weight in this pregnancy.  Apparently he's downstairs working out right now just so he can participate in Tummy Time.  Yes, he's read the books, and knows how important that stuff is.  (Although originally he thought this "tummy time" was some sort of torture.)  You've seen the list of books on the Library page, right?  Every night, he reads the tummy a story.  He does funny voices.  And today, yet again, he went with my to my doctor's appointment.  He likes to do this because he wants to get a chance to know our OB better.  He likes to ask questions (usually ones that I forget), and he's always there when I get scared.  Have I told you guys the blood-draw story?  Oh, it's a bad one.  But who was there to catch me?  Yup.  So, lesson today is to say Thank You.  Remember that (obviously!) without him, there would be no baby.  And with him, this is the best, most supported pregnancy that ever was. 

Just a quick update on the shopping...

Motherhood Maternity store.  Give up trying to beat this.  The service was unmatched, and the winning factor?  They have a public restroom IN THE STORE!  No running around a mall begging for the nearest gross bathroom!  Walked in, said I was about to pop, and they showed me the way!  FYI, JCPenney might have the world's smallest maternity section.  Jeans and t-shirts only.  And Old Navy, while they have great maternity clothes online, you can't try them on in the store!  Grrr!  Anyway, off to bed!  Well, I may need a snack first.  (I always need a snack!)

Do not pity me!

My baby is going to be born in July.  Well, very late July or early August.  And before you start, re-read the title.  There is NOTHING wrong with having a summer baby!

1.) It's my favorite season of the year, so why wouldn't I want to share it with my little one?
2.) While it's hot outside, I'm much more likely to get outside and go for an after-work walk with the husband than those winter-baby-mamas are.  Yeah, sure, you'll go trudge through the snow in 20-degree weather.
3.)  It's easier for me to be nice to the belly.  All the seasonal fruits and veggies I can eat!  And the WBM's are stuck with frozen...  or they're just skipping the veggies for some body-warming fast-food.
4.)  I LOVE being a September baby, and this is because I get evenly-spaced celebrations, and thus, presents!  Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Anniversary, My Birthday, and then Christmas.  Year-round gifts!  I can't help but pity the Christmas babies...
5.)  Speaking of birthdays, you'll never be forced to invite your child's entire class to his or her birthday!  Summer babies get to pick their true friends to go to the pool for their little cookout.  No annoying kids that your child doesn't like anyway.  And no searching for something indoors to do.  Playground, park, pool, lake, ocean...  there's a never-ending list of locales!  Never will I have to say, "Okay, I guess we'll go to Chuck-E-Cheese."  *shudder*
6.) Apparently, children born during summer months are HAPPIER, life-long!  I have sources! 

So, IN. YO. FACE.  Do not pity me or my baby.  We might be a little sweatier for a few weeks, but in the long run, we're happier for it!

Update on progress, eh?

So, I haven't really noticed my belly.  Until now.  Of course I've already moved on to preggo-pants, but that's more for comfort than anything else in the beginning.  Now, I will begin to document.  Because when I stood in the mirror today and looked at the belly...  I was blown away.  Here goes!

Jealous?  Oh, yes, you are!  I've got a serious tummy going on here, and it's pre-dinner!  :)

UPDATE:  Mike suggested that I'm "pooching out" in this picture.  Not at all!  This is all US!

Shopping is not for Preggo today...

Um.  Yeah.  Went shopping today at one of my favorite stores!  Even had the store manager and DISTRICT manager helping me and Tammy pick out some awesome clothes!  Seriously, they had this crinoline skirt in black that would be my new favorite...  and it was about two inches from fitting.  NOTHING fit.  One of the stylists made it (unintentionally) worse by showing me flowy sweaters and shapeless dresses.  Now, yes, it's my own fault walking into a store that sells nothing over a size large.  There's no maternity section, obviously.  So, I sat my slightly-bigger self down on a chair and just watched shopping happen.  Something about still being close to the activity made it seem like I was a part of it, I guess.  Tammy walked out with armfuls.  Preggo got a little pouty.  At this stage of pregnancy (you know, the 40 week long part), it takes almost nothing to set me off.  Sunday I sobbed in the car just because someone mentioned --  well, it's just too embarrassing to explain.  :)  Nevertheless, my triggers are pretty much anything and everywhere.  So today, sitting in a boutique watching someone else get pampered by stylists...well, at least I didn't cry in front of anyone.  However, all is not lost!  I sucked it up, kept a brave face on for my friend who was having a marvelous time, and convinced myself that SOMETHING would work for me!  (And, well, when I set my mind on something, it's sure as hell happening.)  So, I walked out with two fabulous clutches!  I also got the cutest silver medallion necklace with a V on it...and I'm going to add a smaller gold medallion with the baby's initial!  Anyway, moral of the story is twofold:  Preggos, accept that your beautiful body is changing.  You wouldn't expect to take a child with you shopping and you both fit into one dress.  It's exactly the same situation.  But accessories will always fit!  And non-preggos, seriously, be fairly warned.  I could cry pretty much over anything.  And it WILL be your fault--not the baby's--so just take it.